by Eugenio Recuenco

Today I road my bike to Hollywood in hopes of perusing all the weird stripper attire stores by Grauman’s. I’m in the market for black patent thigh highs to compliment my birthday costume. (Literally my birthday costume not my birthday suit.) Anyway in this one store there was a 6 year old stacking some fishnets behind the counter and a prepubescent ten year old slutting up a mannequin on the sales floor. My first thought was how cruel it is to make someone longing for her own growth to dress such a well-endowed headless figure. My second thought was, does anyone legal work here?

At last a grown woman approached and helped me scan the shelves the 6 year old just organized. Quite a matching game for her I suspect. They didn’t have what I was looking for.

Hollywood truly is the weirdest place I’ve been to.