We’re All So Fat
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Over the summer the little girl I nanny befriended the little girl one of my best friends nannies. Funny enough, for all the situations I’ve been in with fancy, acclaimed people no job has brought on more of those occurrences than nannying Karis. I found myself chasing her and her little friends around gigantic, eclectic mansions full of parents almost anyone would know of. Despite my New Jersey beginnings even these experiences become commonplace as one eases into, “It’s all good. They are just people.”
Anyway, my friend’s little girl had a birthday party full of swimming in the luxurious salt water pool, jumping on an overwhelming princess moon bounce, and partaking in treats void of artificial flavors or high fructose corn syrup. There were many recognizable faces under the intricate face paints that were being ornamented on guests left and right.
Karis begged me to join her in the pool so I stripped down to my 1940’s style one piece that lifts and tucks in all the right places. When I got out a movie star who I’ve always loved and found exceptionally, naturally beautiful introduced herself and asked where I got my suit. “It’s actually just H&M, but I got it years ago. They probably don’t have it anymore.”
She bit her lip, “Oh.” We smiled at one another until she explained, “It’s just so flattering and covers so much. I usually feel so uncomfortable with my body.” Then we danced the whole,
“Me too sometimes.”
” No, no your body is perfect.”
“Well yours is beautiful! Nothing to worry about!”
Later we stood together in a larger group and she talked about needing to work out. “You know, they bring me in to fit me for films and they’re all sample sizes! Size 2! I can’t fit in them and I always feel so terrible and enormous.”
So much of me wanted to say, listen, the rest of us are looking at you so don’t try to be a waif; be the woman who’s healthy that we all can look up to. We won’t mind! But I silenced myself. After all, who am I to know whether or not “Hollywood” would accept her at her healthy weight or not.
I drove away wishing I could have encouraged her with something of value. Maybe I’ll know what to say next time.
