When I was little I had a reoccurring fantasy about a babysitter. Before you let all your guy friends know it’s time to frequent A Gold Noise lemme clarify it’s not that kind of fantasy. Somewhere between my early discovery of Seventeen magazine and Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead I dreamed of going on an awe-inspiring, fashionable voyage with a bad-ass teenager.

Tell me you’ve been there! Six to eleven years old all I could wonder is, “what will I look like when I’m a teen?” When will my curves come, when will the boys knock down my door, when will I too be old enough to babysit? Until then it was a dream to have an older, stunning girl show me the ropes of growing up.

My sister Dawny was pretty darn close to my ideal only falling short in moving out when I was so young. But when she lived with us she was my perfection. She scurried around in the hippest of 80’s fashions, switching from straight out of a music video to gorgeous blonde cheerleader. She’d crimp my hair and I’d peek out the window and watch her wait for her Ken doll to pick her up.

As wonderful as it is to become an independent, accomplished adult, the whole discovery of what it is to be a carefree girl was inexhaustibly fun. I spent countless hours in my pink bedroom staring at my face and simply picturing it bigger and with makeup; what else could the future bring? I puppeteered my prettiest dolls to live out my ideal of a teen’s life. They dated imaginary cute boys and were beloved and envied by all the imaginary popular girls.

My teen years proved to be a universe away from any of my ideals- no boys, shabby fashion sense, and prototypical theater nerd- but, hey, it was fun to fantasize all the same… <3

 One hundred and eight degrees and there we stood, the Skis, an old Taylor, a brand new Taylor, a King, and a couple other surnames, to celebrate with Elvis at the Graceland Chapel in Las Vegas. My gorgeous sister beamed in her melon gown, with a shining new sparkler on her finger and her love on her arm. I smiled through the dusty heat and beheld the happy scene before me with gratitude. Dawn had given this kind of thing a go once before, having many happy years, followed by a few sucky ones with a man who turned into some level of total jerkbag none of us suspected was possible. So, to see Mike Taylor wink and smile at his new bride, my beloved sister, I could feel my heart skip a beat.

In the back of my mind I knew that Drew, my boyfriend of 19 months, had a sparkler of his own hidden somewhere in the room we shared with my parents at the Excalibur. I’d been so good, enjoying an inevitable semi-surprise just as much as the next girl, and had not even poked around Drew’s things for the little black box.

See, we’d done things a bit out of order. Drew officially popped the question after a viewing of Superbad on the roof level of the Grove’s parking structure in LA. I was going through my bi-monthly “I’m an awful actress and how-oh-how will I ever succeed” teary-eyed session when Drew spontaneously ignited in flames about his love for me and his belief in my dreams. “I want to be there for you everyday. I want to be there when you’re feeling this way. I want to be your teammate; we’ll do so much better together… Will you marry me?”

So, how befitting that we’d be with my family the next week, we thought! He could ask my dad in person and propose before the most treasured people in my life. So that he did, and by Thursday afternoon I had an amazing platinum filigree from the 1910’s on my left ring finger, with my parent’s blessing to boot.

Now with that, I must admit that I went on a journey I’m unsure many can relate to. As most know, I am indeed a Christian girl- out of the box, fairly liberal, but nonetheless extremely passionately devoted. To this Drew is not opposed, very supportive in fact, but not on the same kick. He believes there is indeed a spectacular higher power, but he hasn’t given it a name or face. If I said I’ve never struggled with this fact, I’d be a liar.

Since the beginning Drew and I both wondered if our relationship would work or if I would fearfully run away, or truly feel led away for the best. Regardless, there was such a connection I was willing to explore the possibilities. As the days, weeks, and months passed by I was filled with more peace, expectation, joy, love, and finally devotion. I looked around and beheld that I was growing spiritually, my career was emerging, and that my weaknesses were budding into strengths. Happily, Drew was experiencing the same kind of growth. We looked like a great team if I’d ever seen one…

The Grove, no I mean Vegas

Watching nuptials and then becoming engaged in Vegas was interesting, largely in part to the gambling. Drew and I enjoyed Blackjack with gusto, dipping into my new sequence fanny pack, winning a lot of money, losing nearly all of it, dropping to zero, and finally spending extra money. By the end we sighed and looked at each other, “Gambling kinda sucks,” we laughed. Drew jokingly added, “Ok, a hundred dollars and your ring on black! Let’s do it!”

In the midst of this adventure, I realized that too many people treated their own relationships and their friends’ relationships like gambling. People find themselves bored or broke in the casino of life, absently throwing everything they’ve got on the table and hoping for the best. Dare I say that love ought to be seen as nothing like gambling? Too often people say to one another, “oh, getting married to him, good luck with that.” Further, the divorce, the idea of winning and losing in love is totally off. So Drew and I have, not opposing but, different religious views. That should scarily mean I am making a bet and hoping to win. Let’s all gain some faith on the foundation of marriage and the beauty of making a decision for one another…

Dawny and Teller at the chapel

My precious employer told me something brilliant yesterday. He is a successful actor with two kids, a wife of ten years, loads of joy and adventure, and this adopted phrase as his most precious motto:

All of the great decisions in life must never be made out of fear but only out of love, for you will always regret the one, and never the other.

He continued to say, “Bren, as long as you do not fear you will never find better, or that people will judge you if you break up, or whatever, and you are wearing that ring because you truly love Drew and love the idea, then you will never regret it.”

So, come March I will be putting my all on Drew King, and it won’t be a casino, it’s called a wedding!

Hubba Hubba!